Kid Quotes

😂 Squid

As I was putting the 3yo to bed, he told me, “I don’t need pants, because I have this long shirt. It turns me into a squid. Again. I have four long shirts that turn me into a squid.”

😂 Jumpy Pants

Our 3yo has been talking about “his friends” often lately. His friends do basically everything he thinks is cool.

Today, we learned the name of at least one of his friends: Jumpy Pants.

Apparently, Jumpy Pants makes double layered sandwiches.

Also, Jumpy Pants has a trampoline. And it is not broken and has no holes in it and the zipper works.

Jumpy Pants has a pretty great life.

Drawing of a frog

My wife and 3yo were drawing together, and my wife drew this picture.

3yo: “What is that?”

Wife: “Well, it was going to be a frog.”

3yo: “And then what happened?”


Frog drawing

Color matching game

My wife made up a color matching game which our 3yo loved.

Our 22mo girl started playing and put things wherever. My wife said, “Good job! You’re doing it.”

The 3yo got right up in her face. “No. You are not doing well.”

Then she got mad and trashed the game.


Best tasting foods

7yo: “The best tasting foods in the world are pizza, and watermelon, and broccoli. I love broccoli. Oh, and, um, shrimp. I really love shrimp.”


Puppies or dogs

7yo: “I like puppies better than dogs.”

Me: “Do you know what happens to puppies?”

7yo: “What?”

Me: “They become dogs.”

7yo: <dramatic gasp>

Me: “Puppies are baby dogs.”

7yo: “Yeah, but they’re mostly puppies.”


Favorite gift categories

We let the kids open sibling gifts this morning and the 8yo received a water game, some bubble gum, and a multi-tool. He was so excited. “Dad, these gifts are perfect! They are from my three favorite categories—weapons, games, and food.” 😂

😂 Stupid bees

My 2yo was sitting next me eating breakfast and turned and sprayed on the side of my face.

Me: “We don’t spit on people.”

2yo: “Oh, ok. But I like to spit on bees. Cuz they’re stoopid.”

Me: “Oh, that’s not a nice word.”

2yo: “It’s not for people. It’s just for bees. Cuz they’re stoopid.”

😂 Having a moment

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My wife came down to grab her phone and called a greeting through my office door. I popped out to say hi, and we were embracing when our 8yo came down the stairs. I didn’t know who it was, but I could hear a child coming down, so I said, “Hold on! We’re having a moment.”

From the stairs, he said, “Nuts!”

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😂 Thought not

My 8yo came down with some coupons from a mailer to ask if I went to some of these places by myself, and if so, he would give me the coupons.

8yo: “Do you go to Popeyes?”

Me: “Yes.”

8yo: “Knew it. Here you go. Burger King?”

Me: “Nope.”

8yo: “Thought not. Arby’s?”

Me: “No.”

8yo: “I thought you’d go there. They have great cheese sticks. Or whatever they’re called.”

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